The Daily Chirp
Past issues: Week 5Week 4Week 3Week 2Week 1
Official standings
| # | Team | W-L | PF | PA | +/- | True win % | Streak |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Non Lo So | 3-0 | 707 | 640 | +67 | 75.8% | W3 |
| 2 | Cum In Seider | 2-1 | 722 | 573 | +149 | 66.7% | L1 |
| 3 | Game Stopped | 2-1 | 669 | 657 | +12 | 63.6% | L1 |
| 4 | Sherwood Stuff Her Good | 2-1 | 667 | 586 | +81 | 54.5% | W2 |
| 5 | Never Go Full Bedard | 2-1 | 663 | 645 | +18 | 63.6% | W1 |
| 6 | She likes it Bouchard | 2-1 | 627 | 607 | +20 | 48.5% | L1 |
| 7 | Jack Quinn Off | 2-1 | 589 | 660 | -71 | 33.3% | W1 |
| 8 | Going in Drai & Snugg | 1-2 | 662 | 688 | -26 | 51.5% | W1 |
| 9 | This Guy Fox Hymans | 1-2 | 640 | 628 | +12 | 54.5% | W1 |
| 10 | Mitchy’s Maternity Leave | 1-2 | 593 | 663 | -70 | 33.3% | L1 |
| 11 | Hughes it or lose it | 0-3 | 612 | 713 | -100 | 33.3% | L3 |
| 12 | Orlov You Long Time | 0-3 | 570 | 662 | -92 | 21.2% | L3 |
Match up recap
Jack Quinn Off detonates the nursery
Jack Quinn Off smoked Mitchy’s Maternity Leave 244.3 to 194.1, winning by 50.2 for the week’s biggest blowout. Brady Tkachuk dropped a filthy 50.4 and even Jack Quinn punched in 30.6, while Mitchy got kneecapped by Sergei Murashov at -12.12 and still tried to call it goaltending.
Non Lo So stays perfect, even with Nylander napping
Non Lo So handled She likes it Bouchard 232.3 to 214.7 to reach 3-0. They won by 17.6 despite William Nylander showing up on the worst list at -9.24, which is the fantasy version of winning a race with your shoelaces tied together.
Drai & Snugg posts a heater, Hughes gets schedule-doomed
Going in Drai & Snugg led the week with 266.6, beating Hughes it or lose it 266.6 to 241.0. Hughes earned the schedule victim badge for losing with the #4 score of the week and now holds the record for most losing points in week 3—sometimes the universe just flips you the bird.
Fox Hymans turns on the star power
This Guy Fox Hymans clobbered Game Stopped 248.4 to 213.3, a 35.1-point cushion. Connor McDavid (35.4), Matthew Tkachuk (31.3), and Carter Verhaeghe (29.3) formed a conga line through the slot while Game Stopped stared like a mall mannequin.
Bedard squad grinds out a win
Never Go Full Bedard edged Orlov You Long Time 225.6 to 209.7 by 15.9. Orlov falls to 0-3 and keeps speed-running the basement like it’s a challenge mode.
Sherwood wins ugly, Seider faceplants hard
Sherwood Stuff Her Good won 219.0 to 181.3 with the week’s #7 score—schedule fairy said yes. Cum In Seider followed last week’s 292.8 and 131.0-record flex by posting the worst score of 181.3 and the week’s biggest underperformance at -64.59; that’s a hangover you can see from space.
Jack Quinn Off is living on borrowed luck
At 2-1 with a true win rate of 33.3% and +1.0 wins above expected, Jack Quinn Off is the league’s certified schedule merchant. The PF sits at 589.4 with a -70.9 differential, Brady Tkachuk is carrying the groceries, and Lucas Raymond even hit the worst list at -10.59—this shine’s gonna scuff fast.
Weekly awards
Record book
Honor roll
Worst players
Power rankings
Week 4 preview
Orlov You Long Time is a -147 favorite with a 57% win chance and a 12.3-point edge (247.7 to 235.4), total 483.1. Jack Quinn Off at +120 has been riding luck all year—if Brady pops again, that spread can evaporate.
She likes it Bouchard is -164 with a 59% edge and a 17.0-point spread (267.8 to 250.78), total 518.6. Never Go Full Bedard at +134 has enough juice to make this sweaty if Bouchard snoozes on a start.
Cum In Seider is a massive -296 favorite with a 71% win chance and a 40.8-point spread (288.67 to 247.83), total 536.5. Going in Drai & Snugg at +231 will need another heater to crack this fortress.
Non Lo So is -152 with a 57% win chance and a 13.7-point edge (258.8 to 245.07), total 503.9. Game Stopped’s +124 price says there’s a puncher’s chance, but the 3-0 wagon isn’t exactly wobbling.
Sherwood Stuff Her Good is a hulking -351 favorite with a 74% win chance and a 47.2-point spread (269.64 to 222.43), total 492.1. Mitchy’s Maternity Leave at +268 needs a miracle and a goalie that isn’t scoring negative points.
Hughes it or lose it is -125 with a 53% edge and a 5.5-point spread (274.81 to 269.34), total 544.1. This Guy Fox Hymans at +103 turns it into a track meet if the stars cook again.