The Daily Chirp
Past issues: Week 5Week 4Week 3Week 2Week 1
Official standings
| # | Team | W-L | PF | PA | +/- | True win % | Streak |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Cum In Seider | 1-0 | 248 | 192 | +56 | 100.0% | W1 |
| 2 | Non Lo So | 1-0 | 229 | 189 | +40 | 90.9% | W1 |
| 3 | Game Stopped | 1-0 | 207 | 185 | +22 | 81.8% | W1 |
| 4 | Never Go Full Bedard | 1-0 | 201 | 189 | +12 | 72.7% | W1 |
| 5 | She likes it Bouchard | 1-0 | 199 | 172 | +26 | 63.6% | W1 |
| 6 | Jack Quinn Off | 1-0 | 183 | 173 | +10 | 18.2% | W1 |
| 7 | Mitchy’s Maternity Leave | 0-1 | 192 | 248 | -56 | 54.5% | L1 |
| 8 | This Guy Fox Hymans | 0-1 | 189 | 201 | -12 | 45.5% | L1 |
| 9 | Orlov You Long Time | 0-1 | 189 | 229 | -40 | 36.4% | L1 |
| 10 | Sherwood Stuff Her Good | 0-1 | 185 | 207 | -22 | 27.3% | L1 |
| 11 | Hughes it or lose it | 0-1 | 173 | 183 | -10 | 9.1% | L1 |
| 12 | Going in Drai & Snugg | 0-1 | 172 | 199 | -26 | 0.0% | L1 |
Match up recap
Quinn Off sneaks by on training wheels
Jack Quinn Off beat Hughes it or lose it 183.3-173.4, the closest game of the week at 9.9. It was a win with the #10 score and a brutal -40.08 vs projection, so yeah, saved-by-schedule banners go up now. Hughes got torpedoed by Trevor Zegras and Mark Scheifele showing up on the worst-players list, then had to watch Quinn Off trip over the finish line anyway.
Bouchard squad turns on the tap
She likes it Bouchard handled Going in Drai & Snugg 198.6-172.3 by 26.3. Evan Bouchard’s 35.6 made it look easy while Drai & Snugg coughed up the week’s worst score at 172.3 despite Leon Draisaitl dropping 26.9. All that Drai and still came up dry.
Non Lo So drops a three-headed hammer
Non Lo So smoked Orlov You Long Time 228.5-188.8, a 39.7 dunking. Elias Pettersson (36.9), Filip Hronek (30.6), and Kyle Connor (27.7) all hit the honor roll while Orlov got kneecapped by Jason Robertson (-10.22) and Robert Thomas (-9.52). Dylan Guenther’s 25.8 was a cute Band-Aid on a chainsaw wound.
Game Stopped presses start
Game Stopped took care of Sherwood Stuff Her Good 206.9-185.4 by 21.5. Power-ranked 3rd rolled like it, while 10th-ranked Sherwood brought a butter knife to a bayonet drill. Not flashy, just efficient scoreboard bullying.
Cum In Seider detonates the record books
Cum In Seider obliterated Mitchy’s Maternity Leave 247.5-191.7, a 55.8 nuke that set the league high score and blowout marks. Mitchy was the schedule victim with the #6 score of the week, but you don’t survive a carpet bomb. That was less a matchup and more a public service announcement.
Bedard (wisely) doesn’t go full send
Never Go Full Bedard edged This Guy Fox Hymans 200.7-189.1 by 11.6. Vasily Podkolzin’s 30.7 did the heavy lifting, outlasting even McDavid’s 32.5 on the other side. When your guy drops the top-3 stud and you still lose, that’s a lineup sneeze in church.
Jack Quinn Off is 1-0 and already on probation
At 1-0 with a true-win rate of 18.2% and 0.82 wins above expected, this is a house made of matchsticks. You won the closest game by 9.9 while posting the #10 score and a -40.08 projection faceplant, then cashed the “saved by schedule” coupon. Enjoy the parade now—those wheels are wobbly as hell.
Weekly awards
Record book
Honor roll
Worst players
Power rankings
Week 2 preview
Cum In Seider is a -608 favorite with a 66.2 spread and 82% win odds, projected 272.52 to 206.29 (total 478.8). Jack Quinn Off better pack rabbit’s feet, horseshoes, and a fire alarm.
She likes it Bouchard sits -186 with a 22.2 spread and 62% win odds, projected 241.08 to 218.83 (total 459.9). This Guy Fox Hymans needs McDavid to go full supernova and then borrow his cape.
Game Stopped is -156 with a 14.8 spread and 58% odds, projected 258.43 to 243.68 (total 502.1). Going in Drai & Snugg has a live dog vibe—just keep it from chewing your goalie starts.
Non Lo So is -176 with a 20.0 spread and 61% odds, projected 242.7 to 222.71 (total 465.4). Never Go Full Bedard needs another Podkolzin heater and a couple prayer beads.
Mitchy’s Maternity Leave is -187 with a 22.4 spread and 62% odds, projected 233.76 to 211.39 (total 445.1). Orlov You Long Time better staple Jason Robertson to the bench exorcist-style.
Sherwood Stuff Her Good is -237 with a 32.1 spread and 67% odds, projected 259.97 to 227.89 (total 487.9). Hughes it or lose it needs fewer worst-list cameos and a lot more green numbers.